Alex Sanchez: Exclusive Interview
In 1979 the average age most Americans came out at was 21. Today, it’s between 14 and 16 and even as low as ten years old.
To discuss this shocking new trend, Alex Sanchez (the acclaimed author of “Rainbow Road”) sat down to talk about his latest novel for young readers, “So Hard to Say.”
In it he explores issues of self-discovery, acceptance of people who are different and a middle schooler’s emotional roller coaster ride of realizing that he’s gay.
“So Hard to Say” explores the landscape of middle school today where kids are questioning their sexuality and coming out at a very young age. Why did you decide to write about this age group instead of high school like in your previous novels?
After I put up my Web site, AlexSanchez.com, I started to get a lot of e-mails from thirteen year old boys who said that my first novel, “Rainbow Boys,” had inspired them. I also heard from a lot of middle school teachers and librarians who said they desperately needed these types of books for students who are ten to fourteen.
Do most schools welcome your books or do they turn their backs?
What I’ve found is that school librarians are tremendous free speech advocates. They really support providing access to all types of information and to a diversity of voices.
Do gay and questioning teens actually check out these books and take them home?
Many of these kids tend to hide out in their school library. They may not actually check out these books or take one home, but just seeing them on the shelf helps in a huge way. It lets them know that they’re not alone. Students who have read my books e-mail me saying they read them over and over because they’re the only ones they can find.
How have kids you’ve heard from influenced “So Hard to Say”?
I’ve heard so many teenage girls say, “The first boy I fell in love with turned out to be gay.” So I decided to write a novel that spoke to that. I’ve also heard from a lot of Hispanic teens who wanted to see an image of themselves in my books, so I set “So Hard to Say” in a Mexican-American middle school.
Why is it that some teens have a relatively easy time being gay in school and others seem to end up going through the meat grinder?
The experience of gay students in middle and high school does vary a lot. One school may be open and supportive while another just five minutes away might not be. I’ve visited schools all over the country and it seems that it’s all very dependent on the leadership of the school. The administration sets the tone for these kid’s experiences in a big way.
Tell me a little about Gay/Straight Alliances. Most of us didn’t have them in our school growing up.
Gay/Straight Alliances are school clubs that are often started by straight girls who have gay friends or gay relatives. They focus on raising awareness and issues dealing with homophobia.
I can see how these alliances help openly gay teens and straight students who are in it, but what about questioning teens who aren’t out yet -- aren’t they left on the sidelines?
Well, no. Although they may not actively participate, just knowing that these groups exist and that their school has one plays a huge role in decreasing their feeling of isolation. It lets them know that they’re not alone, and feeling alone is one of the reasons that teen suicide is so high today.
One of the characters in “So Hard to Say” says that the first time he saw two guys kiss was on an episode of “The Real World.” How has television influenced kids in middle school?
Kids are seeing gay characters on everything they watch today. Whether it’s “The Real World,” “Will & Grace,” “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,” or topics about gay marriage on the news every night. They’re asking their teachers questions, and educators are finding that they have no choice but to address them. They can’t ignore these issues like they may have done in the past.
A lot of parents also complain about sexual promiscuity in shows like these, fearing that their kids are seeing a few too many hot tub orgies.
But at the same time their children are being exposed to issues that aren’t always discussed in school or with their families. These issues need to be discussed, and watching them on TV is one way kids start talking with their teachers and parents. However, although this visibility has brought dialogue out into the open, it’s also made teens more aware of same sex touching in terms of hugs, pats on the back, etc. So now more kids are starting to worry that their best friend might be gay, which is a theme explored in the book.
You counsel teachers and educators. What advice do you give them about dealing with gay teens?
I basically share my own experience of growing up gay and what that was like. I also share what it was like growing up as a Mexican immigrant, not knowing America or the language. I show them the connection between sexuality and ethnicity -- growing up different from everyone else and trying to find a sense of belonging -- then hopefully people who aren’t gay can begin to understand.
One of the things you also teach is that homophobia hurts everyone.
Homophobia creates artificial limits on closeness, both physical and emotional which can be damaging to both gay people and straight people. The issue is not whether being gay is moral or not, it’s why does our society allow homophobia? If people say that their religion doesn’t condone homosexuality, I shift the discussion and ask them if their religion condones name calling and physical abuse. It’s so important for teachers to stand up for students. Many kids who are teased for being gay are not even gay.
What do you think the future looks like for these types of books?
The popularity of GLBT books for young readers is increasing at a rapid pace. I know that some schools have added “So Hard to Say” to their summer reading list. With school budget cuts a lot of teachers have started their own classroom libraries where they’ve added it to their collection. In the future I can see GLBT books taught as part of the curriculum much like African American books are taught today, which wasn’t always the case.
Tell me about your next novel, “Rainbow Road.”
My first two novels, “Rainbow Boys” and “Rainbow High,” followed a love triangle between three high school senior boys. “Rainbow Road” picks up from there and follows the boys on a road trip after they graduate high school.
Fun…sort of like Britney Spears in “Crossroads.”
[Laughs] There’s actually a little Britney in it. She’s a theme that runs throughout the book.
What advice do you have for teens who feel they might be gay?
Try to find out what your parent’s attitudes are toward gay people, and ask yourself what the worse case scenario would be if you came out. There’s no rush. Take your time, and only do it when you’re emotionally ready. Also realize that just like it took you a long time to come out, it may take your family and friends a while to get used to it also.
- For more on Alex Sanchez' books visit AlexSanchez.com.
* For more gay Atlanta tips, tricks and insider secrets get the book ATLANTAboy: An Insider's Guide to Gay Atlanta on Amazon!
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